Sunday, 30 October 2011

Paranoid Activity 1

I'm sure many of you read the title and thought it said "Paranormal Activity"....the name of a popular, extremely stupid and non-scary set of movies that have come out in the last couple of years.

These lame movies focus on doors slamming shut, things that go bump in the dark, and furniture falling over. When none of this is happening, the characters suffer from severe obsessive compulsive disorder--they look out of their windows suspiciously 2 billion times, frequently glance over their shoulders, and watch video camera footage over and over. 

In fact I *glance* would *glance* recommend *glance* this *glance* movie *glance* to *glance* somebody *glance* who *glance* has a *glance* nervous *glance* tic 
Notice how I looked out the window nervously 10 times in that one sentence?? Scary isn't it???

Anyways, for this reason I have come to dub the movies "Paranoid Activity".

Now while the movies are stupid, boring, and not scary at all, I have discovered something else that is truly scary.

Paranoid people. 

In continuity with the 3 movies, there are 3 kinds of people who exhibit irritating paranoid activities which are completely irrational and stupid. 
We will begin with:

Paranoid Activity 1- PIN-Pad Hugging

These are the people in line in front of you to buy something at your local store.

They are so paranoid about you peering over their shoulders and memorizing their PIN number for their debit/credit cards that they hunch their entire body over top of the machine creating a body shield. Or they hug the machine tightly to their bosom in a death-grip and refuse to let go.  Meanwhile they keep glancing backwards with frantic expressions as their fingers try to punch in the numbers as fast as possible. Sometimes they even pretend they are pressing extra buttons (to confuse any onlookers), and to make them feel as though they are outwitting all the thieves that must exist in the store.

They get upset if you even look in their general direction, which is stupid because there is nowhere else to look when standing in line. What are you supposed to do, stand backwards?? Don't be ridiculous. 

Everyone knows the standard number setup on a PIN-pad so we wouldn't even have to see the numbers on the pad to know what buttons you pressed. So if we were really intent on stealing your pin number, it wouldn't matter if we were looking over your shoulder or not.
Never mind the fact that in order for their PIN to be of any real use, their card would also be required. (or at least card number). Considering that the only way I could possibly get that card from the person is by tackling them into the ground and stealing all their stuff, or coshing them with a blunt object, this is a stupid thing to be paranoid about.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid.

Fact: You do not need to hug your debit machine in order to use it.

Try hugging your ATM next time while taking money out. 
Think that sounds ridiculous?? Well it's the same concept.

Do This

Not This

Seriously, I am not standing in line to steal your PIN number. 

Figure it out.


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