Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Don't Hate on Them Sharks

People are scared of sharks.
Frequently do I hear complaints of people who are scared of going in the ocean because they are going to be eaten by sharks.

I blame ignorance and the movie "Jaws" largely for this silly little fear. 

Fact: In 2010, 6 people were reportedly killed by shark attacks.

In fact the top  animals responsible for killing humans per year (in order) are as follows:

  1. Mosquitoes- 2 million deaths (Malaria you fools)
  2. Snakes- 100,000 deaths (lack of antivenom)
  3. Scorpions- 5,000 deaths
  4. Crocodiles- 2,000 deaths (bite your head usually)
  5. Elephants - 600 deaths (gore you to death)
  6. Bees - 400 deaths
  7. Lions- 250 deaths
  8. Hippos- 200 deaths (named the most anti-human creature on the planet, they HATE us. thankfully there aren't that many of them, and lots of us muahaha)
  9. Jellyfish-100 deaths

Then there are sharks.....
around 10 a year.

6 deaths last year to be precise.

In the world. 

Of 7 billion people.

Statistically speaking it means you would have to be the unluckiest person ever to die from a shark bite. You are more likely to get killed by a donkey, falling coconut, or getting struck by lightning twice.

This is why I don't understand people who are going on exotic vacations who have this irrational fear of being attacked by a shark. 
Sharks don't like people because we taste too bony and that is extremely unpleasant to their palates!!

Also, although some sharks like shallow water, most places where humans will be swimming is not deep enough for sharks to be carrying out their hunting.
Humans scare away fish, so sharks will not go where humans go (in general).

I have even ran into people who are so terrified that they are planning on not going in the water at all on their $5,000 vacation because they truly believe they are going to come back as severed body parts.

You will not get bitten by a shark unless you swim up to one, swear at it,  and then try your best to stuff your hand in it's mouth. 

Actually, if you do even get close to one just punch it as hard as you can in the nose and it will swim away.
Because punching a shark in the face will disorient it and make it dizzy. It will believe you are the superior animal and will swim away.

But hey, if you don't believe me fine.
Be unnecessarily fearful.
Be scared.
Don't go swimming in the ocean.
Miss out on one of the best parts of exotic vacations.
I don't care because I know that I wouldn't miss it for the world.

But please don't hate on those lovable sharks needlessly!
They are just misunderstood creatures who are trying to earn their keep in the ocean and get some good luncheon meat while they're at it. They don't prefer to be involved with stinky stupid humans so if you stay away, they'll stay even farther away.
If you ever get a chance to pet a shark you will understand.

Jaws was wrong.

Some people.....

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