Sunday, 16 October 2011

Driving Personalities: 'Perfect Prunella'

I must admit, of all the driving personalities, this one probably irritates me the least.

But it's still annoying.

'Perfect Prunella' is almost the exact opposite of an 'Ignorant Ian'. 
They obsess about the traffic laws as if it were a cult. They make sure to park exactly 196 cm away from the curb, stop for exactly 3 seconds at stop signs, and absolutely refuse to make a U-turn unless a sign tells them they are allowed to. Even if it means driving for another 7 hours before being able to turn around.
In fact, they believe traffic signs to be the ultimate truth.

They go so far as to follow the signs even if it's not sensible. For instance, they drive slow on bridges because it may be icy.....

During the summers.

They always drive under the speed limit by at least 10 km, which is fine.....

Unless everyone else is driving the speed limit. Or over.

They do not yield the way to jaywalkers in any fashion because they believe that pedestrians should cross at the nearest crosswalk. Which is completely correct.

Unless the nearest crosswalk is 10 miles away.

Now I know it sounds a little harsh to be picking on those people who follow the driving laws 100% of the time. But I'm not picking on those who just do their best. These are the people who are so obsessive that they can tell you the driving laws in 137 different countries around the globe and the exact difference between a traffic circle, roundabout, and a whirlygig. (It's like hot dog and frankfurter apparently...)

Might I add, that if you happen to get stuck with a 'Perfect Prunella' as a passenger in your vehicle, you will seriously be wishing you had an ejection button on your car seats. Or a heavy brick in your hand.

"Oh, slow down a bit, you're 2 km over the limit. Hey you didn't shoulder check 16 times tsk tsk!! Ok, wait at this stop sign while I count out 3 steamboats as painfully slowly as possible, then you can turn. Did you just turn left on a yellow light???!! shouldn't have, don't you know better??"

Safety is great. I wholeheartedly support safety first.
Lets be real here though: too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

For instance: I struggle a bit emotionally when 'Perfect Prunella' ends up causing 7-car pile-ups because she doesn't act like everyone else on the road and signals for about 2 minutes before changing lanes. Nobody knows exactly when she is changing lanes except for her. Which is dangerous. Figure it out Prunella.

She honestly believes she is always right and is better then everyone else at driving.

Fact: Prunella is wrong.

At least the dear girl has her heart in the right place though.

Unfortunately she makes mine skip beats while driving. 

Cardiac Arrest: 11:14 pm.

Do everyone a favour Prunella and show some sensibility. 

Relax out there.

Take a chill pill.

Don't be a traffic Nazi.

Or else we are all doomed.
Doomed I say.

That is all.

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