Not to beat my own drum but.....
I have a great sense of humour.
Well.... it may be kind of morbid or horrible sometimes, but hey there's not a lot I can do about that.
At least I can find things funny and have the ability to laugh at a good joke. I even laugh at my own jokes that's how much I enjoy humour! Hahaha see?? See me laughing??
I'm not like those dunder-heads who gaze at you limpidly and blink like a fish when you tell a joke. (These are the same people who don't think anything is funny and absolutely hate jokes. More specifically they hate puns).
However, for all of the jokes and puns that I like there is one kind of joke that I absolutely despise.
That would be the age old question of "Why did the chicken cross the road??"
To get to the other side?
To get to the other chicken?
Because the rooster crossed first?
He was being initiated?
Because he wanted to get to the train station?
He was pushed?
To get his bouncy ball?
So he could cross back??
It is none of the above.
The reason the chicken crossed the road is because he felt like it.
No hidden meanings.
No lame excuses or made up stories.
He felt like it.
Think about it. If the chicken DIDN'T feel like crossing the road for whatever reason, he wouldn't. Even if he was coerced to or told he'd be killed, he still wouldn't have to cross unless he wanted to. Sure he might become a martyr or get beat to death with a blunt object, but he still has the choice.
The chicken always has a choice.
It's that simple.
So this is why when I hear a chicken road-crossing joke I always venomously reply with "Because he felt like it, and that's the answer to every chicken joke."
Then I cuff the person savagely behind the ears.
It's called individualism.
Individualism is not funny.
Which is why these jokes are not funny.
Which is why I do not laugh.
Which is why I punch you in the nose if you tell one of these jokes.
Seriously, the chicken just felt like it ok?
And that's my Daily Rant