Wednesday 19 October 2011

Killing "The Elephant in the Room"

So expressions can be kind of useful when used properly. However, there are some that are just stupid, moronic, and extremely frustrating. 
Combine these kinds of expressions with humans and you get people who display the intelligence of a dead snail.
Such is the case with the frequently uttered phrase 'The Elephant in the Room'.

Usage by retards is something like this:
-"Well since nobody is going to address the elephant in the room.....I will"
-"We all know about the elephant in the room..."
-"It would appear we have an elephant in the room"
- "Not to make anyone scared, but it would seem that the elephant in the room is just killing us right now"

This is a stupid expression.

Here is the proper definition.
Elephant:
noun, plural -phants, (especially collectively) -phant for 1. Either of two large, five-toed pachyderms of the family Elephantidae, characterized by a long, prehensile trunk formed of the nose and upper lip, including Loxodonta africana (African elephant), with enormous flapping ears, two fingerlike projections at the end of the trunk, and ivory tusks, and Elephas maximus (Indian elephant), with smaller ears, one projection at the end of the trunk, and ivory tusks almost exclusively in males: L. africana is threatened; E.

In layman's terms, an elephant is a BA monster-trucker of an animal, is grey, has big ears, and can squish things. Live outdoors. Mostly in Africa.

Elephants are animals.
Not people.
Not inapplicable metaphors.
They do not exist in rooms.
They actually don't really like people. 


I understand what metaphors are but this is a stupid one. Especially since everyone always addresses "The Elephant in the Room" as being a big question or issue that nobody is talking about.
Well guess what, by mentioning it you all of a sudden are talking about it. (You idiots)
So saying there is an elephant in the room is not only a lie, but also a completely hypocritical statement.
Don't you wonder why nobody ever talks about this so-called elephant??

Because it isn't there.
There is no elephant.
And even if there was, mentioning that there is an elephant in the room does not make it appear.
Neither does it make the 'Elephant' any more likely to be "solved".
You cannot "solve" an elephant.

Unless you kill it.
And that is not only harsh and unnecessary but PETA will probably hunt you down and do likewise.

So why not do the sensible thing and not use this ridiculous expression.
Just say, "so the issue nobody is talking about is..."
or: "The huge problem here is...."
Then you sound like a smart human being that may actually have brains inside of your head instead of oatmeal.

Leave elephants out of it.
If you want an elephant in the room, go to the zoo.
You sound like an imbecile.
Seriously.

Please help kill this stupid expression one person at a time.
I suggest slingshots filled with rocks to the brain.

FWAP!!

Oops guess we just "solved" that elephant.
Ugh.


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