Sunday, 20 November 2011

Spitting is for Uncivilized Humans

Ok so I'm walking along behind a person taking my dog for a walk.

No big deal.

It's kind of cold outside, and I'm feeling a little grumpy due to being sick.

And so I'm just lost in thought, spurring my dog onwards through the cold when all of a sudden I hear this disgusting slurping/sucking snot noise in front of me.

I realize that it is coming from the man in front of me who has fully stopped walking in order to spit a huge ball of snot/mucus/spit from his mouth onto the sidewalk. 

The public sidewalk.
That people walk on.
People like me.

I walked slowly up to the area and noticed a disgusting yellow splotch of human intestinal remains on the sidewalk and deftly maneuvered my dog off the sidewalk around it.

The man kept walking as if nothing had happened, and continued to stop every 20 feet or so and spit a loogie on the sidewalk. Which I had to continuously step around.


Is it really that important for you to clean your orifices outside on the public sidewalk?? 
Do you actually think the whole world consists only of you Mr. Selfish-blob?

While you're at it sir, why don't you just pull down your pants and take a dump on the sidewalk so we can all enjoy the sight and stench of it while simultaneously almost stepping in it.

I mean you might as well, it's the same idea.
And after all, you are clearly the only person that matters in the world.

Seriously, this is just disgusting. At least have the decency and consideration to spit or deposit your slimy nostril and throat fluid into the snowbank NEXT to the sidewalk.
And maybe you should consider if other people are around you while you are doing it.
At the very least.

Nothing makes you seem like more of an unintelligent neanderthal then spitting continuously because you haven't learned how to swallow your spit properly (unless it's being a hipster). 

Can't you possibly have tissue to spit in? Or even a bottle for crying out loud.
Nobody wants to hear or see you spitting up bile and discovering what colour the last thing you ate or drank was.

Would you like to see me just throw up on the ground and leave it there? 
No of course not.
If you actually would, then you should seek therapeutic help because you are mentally deranged.

It's not that difficult to refrain from spitting in public and it is completely unnecessary to do so onto objects or the ground. 
Use a garbage bin, use your hand, use a bottle, use your sleeve, use a handkerchief, or just don't do it at all.

I firmly believe that there should be a bylaw for humans picking up their spit.
I mean we are required to clean up after our dogs and if you walk around spitting everywhere, you pretty much are a dog.

Spitting is for uncivilized humans.
Stop it.

Or I will call animal services and request you be tranquilized and impounded.


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