Sunday, 23 October 2011

I Hate Classroom Cretins

I apologize for a couple days away, unfortunately I had no internet access due to travel. Anyways, we shall carry on as usual.....

I don't know about most people who attend post-secondary institutions, but I do so because I consider myself to be somewhat intelligent and I want to be there to pursue further education. In fact, I am paying significant amounts of money for this exact thing.
I believe that this is the case with most people.

But not all people.

It would seem that some idiots go to post-secondary so they can pretend to be superior to everyone else in the classroom. They love to listen to their own voice and constantly engage the professor in class.
In fact they completely brown-nose with the teacher and put their hands up every 30 seconds with a new 'fresh' insight into the material being covered. The material is never fresh, and their silly comments make everyone else in the class feel an intense urge to commit hari kari. Meet the 'Classroom Cretin"

Their statements or questions are never relevant (such as questioning the prof on whether they like wolverine meat or squid fetuses better in their soup).

Sometimes they don't even ask an actual question but rather make a stupid observation (such as "It snows in winter duhahahhhahhhhh I have ink for brainssssss).

Many times these dopes will just re-state what the professor has already said and say "Is that right?" Then when the prof agrees with them and further discusses the issue this classroom cretin will nod wisely and give a swift know-it-all glance around the classroom.

Everyone else is wishing they had a Vaporization Gun. 

But this doesn't faze the cretin...oh fact it makes them feel even more superior. Yes! 
They have asked their question before someone else! 
They are engaging with the teacher! 
They are getting participation marks!! 
Everyone is focused on them!! 
They are just killing this class right now!! 

My absolute favorite is when a group of these cretins sit together in a cluster in a classroom. They then feed off of each other like parasitic leeches feasting on fresh blood. One will put up their hand and start a completely useless conversation with the professor. The others will then chirp in with equally pointless conversation and will build off of their own moronic ideas. If they were allowed, I'm pretty sure they would rush towards each other and madly high five back and forth while commenting how intelligent and awesome they are.

Instead, they settle with just smirking impishly at each other and offer remarks such as "Oh, that's such a good comment!" and "I completely agree with that!", especially when discussing the best way to mount a unicorn in an enchanted forest when you have been set on fire and are missing a shoe.

You know, completely relevant things.

Look, I don't pay a billion dollars for my schooling to listen to Mr. and Mrs. Self-absorbed discuss mythical creatures or their own personal thoughts on how Einstein should have had a better hairdresser. I'm pretty sure other people don't either.

Seriously, we are not 2 years old and nobody wants to listen to you brown nose the teacher for the entire class.
If you don't have something useful or relevant to say in class it's pretty simple:

Shut your piehole.

Trust me classroom cretins, you have way less 'friends' in class then you think you do.


That is all.

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