So You Have a PhD.......NOBODY CARES!!!

Oh boy, this just really grinds my gears.

So lets say that you spend lots of time and money getting a post-secondary education. You get a 4 year degree in Makiakki Herbology.  Yay you!! 

Then you decide to get your master's degree in it, writing your thesis on Negative Methane Toxicity of Makiakki Plants on the African Plains. 

You then decide to one-up yourself and get your PhD in Theoretical Herbology of Imaginary Pygmy Shamans in Malaysia.

You manage to nail your thesis and are awarded the distinction of having your PhD.

Good for you. 

Seriously, good work. 

It is not easy to pursue such ambitions and it takes a significant amount of time and money to achieve such goals. Even if they do revolve around stupid obscure subjects such as Pygmy Shamans and Maikkiki Herbology in remote areas.

Much respect.

However, I do not have respect for the losers who think that because they have achieved this status, everyone else is a lesser human being.

You know exactly what I'm saying.

These are the rude slime-balls who refuse to talk to you or get extremely offended unless you refer to them as DR. 

For instance, in retail I would frequently get people who had Dr. put on their credit cards. 

If I said have a nice day (Mr./Ma'am.....and their last name) they would get extremely angry and snootily reply: "Actually it's DR"; as their eyes turned into large dinner plates and rolled madly around in their head and they frothed angrily from the mouth.

Well soooooorrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy douchebag I didn't mean to to insult your fragile little ego. 

It's really sad that you need to have this title in order to feel important in society. What were you neglected as a child or something??

Maybe you have "Small Man Syndrome"??

Does this PhD make everything in your life complete??

Well hopefully because it also makes everyone else want to punch them in the head 5,000 times until they are comatose on the floor.

Grahh.

You also run into this in the post-secondary world where you will have professors who will not even acknowledge you or talk to you unless you call them Dr. 

I will often call them Dr. Doom or Dr. Dre or something else that really irritates them.

Because really how stupid is that??

Just because they decided to waste their time and money pursuing higher education does not make them immediately smarter then you. Especially when the majority of people obtain their PhD's in things that the average 3 year old baby pig would be able to understand.

In fact, I find lots of these people severely lacking in common sense and I doubt they would be able to fix their own toilet if it broke and their feces were splattered about on the ground.

Some of them probably don't even know what feces are to be honest.

But really, how would these snobby people like it if I refused to answer to them unless they adressed me as "Sir" or "Your Majesty"??? 

Example:

"Can I try on these shoes please??"

"Of course not peasant, you didn't refer to me by my proper title.."

Yeah, of course they wouldn't like it don't be ridiculous.

But it's the exact same idea.

Having a PhD does not entitle you to put yourself on a pedestal above the rest of us you ignoramuses. 

It's just as mature as a 5 year old who throws a temper tantrum because they don't get a candy from the store. 

Grow up.

If you have a PhD and you want people to think you're smart and well-educated and a great person the best thing you can do is not act like a superior know-it-all who is obsessed with their title. 

Trust me.

Because if you try and shove your title in your face, I will make it my life goal to shove your face into a pile of dog poop on the ground. 

I will also make a point of refusing to call you Dr. and make snarky comments about your lack of ability toaccomplish anything in life.

I will tell all my friends about you and your selfish attitude.

This really really annoys me.

Really.

Ugh.