Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Greetings From the Daily Ranter!

Greetings fellow Earthlings, people of the world, people of intelligence, and those who find themselves sitting alone on a rock in the middle of nowhere brooding over their life problems and crying because they have run out of organic kelp-flavoured crackers.

This is The Daily Rant: An exhaustive day-to-day look at the irritating, mindlessness, and utter stupidity of our fellow human beings as they live their everyday life. But first of course, a little introduction to the writer of this blog--yours truly.

First of all, let me say that I am not in any way an overly optimistic person. Rather I view the world through cynical and overcritical eyes. That is to say that the glass is ALWAYS half empty (the service is routinely crappy), and the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence (clearly because the zoo is on top of fertilization and so that grass is pretty darn green. Also....no predators on this side of the fence duh).

As a result of my life experiences, I have come to a startling conclusion: People are stupid.

Now, I will refine that explanation by saying that certain kinds of people who do certain stupid things are therefore stupid.  I realize that some people are legitimately partially brain-dead and lack the capacity to think properly, and these poor souls are not people I am concerned about. Rather, I take  issue with the portion of the population whom choose to blatantly act as though they have had their inner brain cortex  filled with sand and invaded by neuron-eating earthworms. Which is a ridiculous and unacceptable excuse for being a total moron.

These are the people who are the source of my poison pen and constant angst day in and day out, but beware!! You may find yourself fitting into the category of some things that I rant about. Do not be concerned or offended, but rather make a conscientious effort to become a better person and realize the silliness in what you are doing and that you, in fact, are stupid.

I hope you enjoy my Daily givings and take my sarcasm, anger, cynicism, and antagonistic ways to heart. I truly believe that one rant a day, 365 days a year, can lead to a better world filled with happy, utopian, hand-holding Care Bears who sing Kumbaya. Or Narnia. Whichever happens first.

Even better yet, I believe it will lead to the first Animal as President! (Either Smoky the Bear or Sparky the Fire Dog. Barney will finish last in polls due to public misgivings about his being a suspected child kidnapper).

My Daily Blog will commence on Sunday October 2nd, 2011 as I first set up the page, manage my life, and explore the first couple of issues that need to be taken to heart. Stay tuned!

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